This morning I was ruminating about being a Mom. I will say I am probably a little bit different than other Moms though.
For one, my children are spread out over a nineteen year period, with a fairly long break in between the first two and the last two. My oldest was born in 1989. He will be 25 this July. Then I have a daughter born in 1993, June, who is about to be 21. Then the dry spell set in. We had decided that two, after all, was enough. Even though we had originally talked about three or four. We were content with our little nuclear family. We had covered our bases…we had replaced our selves. All was good.
But then the girl started to ask for a younger sibling. Repeatedly. I told her to talk to Dad; that I was fine with it, but it had to be mutual. This went on for a while (like 3 years). Then in 2002, Daddy said yes. Now to be honest here, he claims he doesn’t remember agreeing to have another child, but as I was on some pretty heavy duty medications at the time due to an auto accident, I wouldn’t have started the process of weaning myself off them if he hadn’t. So the “trying” began. And it took a little while…I conceived baby numero tres and she was born April 2004. Just turned ten. And, Oh! What a difference eleven years made on motherhood!
For one thing, I was now thirty-seven years old…Yep, you read that correctly. 3-7. So no longer flush with youth, ha ha. It was much more nerve racking this time around. Now true, we had a LOT going on…and I mean A LOT. So the stress levels were higher to begin with. But I was also aware of all the things that can go wrong, so I was a nervous wreck for the first few months. Strange but true…at twenty two, with the first one, I breezed through everything, and now, fifteen years later, I was a basket case. Everything changed…no more sleeping on their tummy…had to put them “back to sleep”. Walkers were banned…too many accidents. Breast feeding was more encouraged (I breastfed all four of my babies) which was great. And so many other little things.
So how did we get to number four? I didn’t want number three to be an “only child”. With that eleven year age difference between the sisters, I knew that both older kids would be out of the house long before the baby was even a teenager (or that was what I thought…the oldest is still at home. But that is a whole other story…) We had setbacks, several of them. Daddy wasn’t really sure about adding another member to the family (luckily, he came around!!). But we (I, lol) got lucky, and one finally “took”
Baby number four was born in 2008…on April Fool’s Day. Which seems appropriate. You would have to know her, but she is such a surprise, and a blessing…Our miracle baby. Truly. I was forty-one. My equipment was a shambles, and as my ob put it to me, my “fertility is waning but it could still happen”. Placenta previa. Oh yes…a miracle. At least to me. And now six years old. Wow!
But there are challenges. Like when the littles are screaming at each other, and my forty seven year old nerves are about to snap. Or the eye roll…oh no she didn’t. Or the whining that is like nails on a chalkboard. Or when numero uno tells me that I am too easy on numeros tres and questre…But I digress…Maybe.
So here I am today, reflecting on motherhood. The ups, the downs. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Example: Yesterday I earned serious mommie points when I took the two littles to the local spring fair and let them run wild…Don’t get me wrong. They bought their own bracelets for the rides ($20 each) with birthday money from G-Pa. But I let them go crazy, and we didn’t rush the evening…we closed the fair down. They got their moneys worth. It was worth the backache.
Today, points lost: Numero quatre tells me she hates me because I was in no hurry to rush to Wally World so she could spend the birthday gift card her uncle sent. Eh, you win some, you lose some. (BTW…she ended up wearing me down, and is now the proud owner of a fashion Barbie with three outfits. LOL)
Each one of these amazing people that I have brought into the world is a unique, special, and wildly different person than their siblings…while sharing some basic traits. They are all stubborn (think mules here folks); intelligent; talented. Loving (most of the time). And even though I have had the occasional urge to duct tape one to a wall, I wouldn’t change them (well…a tweak or two? Maybe, lol)
I am a Mom. Not a great one, admittedly, but they have all survived well past weaning, so that counts, right? Right? Bottom line: I love my kids. All of them. Warts and all…(again, another story, LOL)